Dear Dr. Warren: (and really any guys I may or may not date in the future!!)
Perhaps I am just unlucky, but I think your site needs to do a little better job screening the potential matches. Somehow I have managed to be matched with people who, at first glance, appear highly compatible. The questions that don't get asked BEFORE matching are sometimes very important. I suppose short of a lie detector test, you'd never really know someone's motives in dating were pure. That said, here are my suggestions for making eHarmony a safer place.
Flakiness Factor- How about adding to the personality profile questions. I'd love to know how someone behaves before and after a first date. Do they subscribe to the 3 day rule? Will they set up a 2nd date immediately if they are interested??
A thumbs up/thumbs down feedback factor. I'd love a place to indicate how I think a date went. Chemistry.com has something similar. It gives you a nice way to let someone know if you are or are NOT intestested in getting to know them further. I'm not sure about other people, but the not knowing is sometimes the most painful part!!
Post First Date Behavior - I think I have already covered this one above. (see Flakiness Factor) A man's behavior after the first date can be a real indicator of how the relationship might take shape. Don't jerk me around...let me know if you aren't interested so I can cut my losses and move on. I have a pretty thick skin, but nobody recovers well from being strung along.
With that said, being honest does not mean it has to be hurtful. There is definitely a polite way to let someone down. If you aren't interested, why waste either of our time. Let's just make nice and move along. I am not opposed to making new friends along this bumpy dating road, but I feel the need to remind these guys that I didn't pay for eFriendomy...I paid for eHarmony....
Okay...ranting complete....for NOW. :-)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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